the sky mesmerizes me.
maybe i’m weird. i feel like i could stand and stare for hours, completely content with watching the clouds roll by or gazing at the stars under the cover of the moonlight. there’s something about sunsets, too…when the sky is red and on fire. you know what i’m talking about….words just can’t describe it.
there was a time when it had the completely opposite effect on me. i remember going out one evening to gaze at the stars. i felt myself shrinking underneath the canopy of space above me and was overwhelmed with a feeling of insignificance. i thought, who am i? what difference does my existence make? do i even matter? i went inside and crumpled into a tearful ball on my bedroom floor. my past left me feeling so broken and used. i cried out to God, why me?! it’s not fair! i never asked for this! i felt like the world was passing me by outside my window, and i was trapped here fighting a losing battle with the demons of my past.
instead of looking up at the night sky and seeing how majestic and incomprehensible and amazing God is, all i could think of was my limits and powerlessness. i had the same problem when it came to dealing with my past: instead of focusing on who God is, i was crippled mentally by the abuse and its effects.
but God’s word spoke a powerful truth to me then that I have not forgotten since. Isaiah 40 is an incredible picture of the majesty of God, and as i considered the struggles i was having, i asked myself, what is this to God? my relationship with Him was profoundly impacted by this truth. i realized my “purpose” wasn’t a great mystery that i had to figure out…there is no greater level i have to attain, no greater act of service i have to strive for; no, the truth is this: “Whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.”(1Corinthians 10:31, KJV)
now, as I look up into the sky, i find myself homesick. i wish that I could somehow fall into it, that beyond all the clouds and stars, i would end up in His embrace. oh, how i long for His eternal embrace…
but until then…
what draws you to Him?