how i was disillusioned by “christian” books

i read the books all other christians were reading.

you know the ones.

on finding your purpose. achieving your dreams. claiming your blessings. how to figure out God’s will for your life (as if it’s some sort of mystery). i didn’t realize it then, but i see now how it disillusioned me. it was all wrong. dangerous, even. i overlooked so many things. i sought after what i wanted rather than what i needed. i often crashed from disappointment. i had an unhealthy fear that i wouldn’t be able to “figure out” what God wanted to do in my life.

but all those ideas dissolved in the light of His pure, trustworthy truth.

what is my purpose?

to glorify God (1 corinthians 6:20, 10:31). He is my creator, i am His creation (revelation 4:11). Christ is my Savior, and through Him, i am able to have a relationship with God. a relationship. something that requires time, commitment and effort. like getting to know anyone else, you must spend time with them. i get to know Him by listening (through His word), and talking to Him (by prayer). and what He reveals, i live. and as i’ve gotten to know Him, i can’t help but fall in love with who He is, and truly enjoy Him.

how?

by obedience to His word. i show God my love for Him through obedience (1 john 2:3-6). too often did i overlook opportunities i had right in front of me because i was so focused on my s0-called “purpose.” like there was something better and “more important.”  but really, all i need to do is glorify God right where i am. trust Him, where He has placed me, and let Christ live through me. “Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father.” colossians 3:17, nasb

rather than searching for that purpose or fulfilling that dream or desire, His word showed me that anything and everything can give Him glory…which makes every breath mean something. every moment is precious. you know that line in the serenity prayer? it helped to guide me in the right direction:

living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time…

God didn’t make His will a mystery to me. His will for my life is right here in front of me, in His word. He laid out His heart for all mankind to know, and we must make the effort to study it. the Spirit will teach me “all things” (john 14:26). i don’t need to rely on anything else but Him to teach me, and to trust Him enough to live my life as Christ lived His. and that’s it. Christ is my example. His was the life of perfect obedience. i am to be a reflection of Him in all i do. as my life has become lost in His, i’ve found that there’s really no questions left to ask…He is all i need.

“He can crumple me or exalt me, He can do whatever He chooses.” -Oswald Chambers

i’ve  had to learn how to trust Him. how to take what i saw on the mountain and carry it to the valley. how to let go. how to love.  and what it means to have His desires become my own. it has released me from fear. it has released me from disappointment. it has released me from worry.

i am free. i am defined by Him. and there is no greater pleasure…

sara

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2 thoughts on “how i was disillusioned by “christian” books

  1. sara…i love you writing, your honesty, your transparency…especially about “purpose” …when i first read Philippians 3:10a from the Amplified Bible it was an “ah-ha” moment for me, as I focused on the word, “purpose”…“My determined purpose is that I may know Him, that I may progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of His person more strongly and more clearly.” Since then, I have turned that Scripture into a daily prayer, asking God to give me a heart which longs to progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him…I wrote about it in this blog post… http://bethwillismiller.blogspot.com/2011/03/comfort-measures-only.html

  2. The only way to describe what I sense about your journey with God’s will, is to say I see you blossoming and widening your horizons. Your face and voice even show a difference. You are stepping in line with the path God set for you.

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