“…love your neighbor as yourself.” (matthew 22:39)
i wasn’t even sure what that meant until very recently.
how have i “loved myself”?
i take care of my body: i eat when i’m hungry, i sleep when i’m tired, i maintain good hygiene, i try to be healthy and active. i also spoil myself a bit, give in to a want or desire here and there; and balancing that out with self-restraint and discipline. i set up personal boundaries, and nurture and value healthy relationships. i enjoy each and every moment for the gift that it is.
when it came to recovery, i’ve sought help. i’ve been to counseling. i’ve joined programs and connected with mentors. i’ve cried. a lot. i’ve learned how to pick myself up when everything within me would rather curl up and hide.
so, i’m left asking myself: how can i love others as i’ve “loved myself”?
i’m in a very interesting position right now. i look forward to what’s to come, to the opportunities that are ahead, to all that i can see and all i can’t see. i even look forward to the disruptions. and even though i’m feeling very inadequate…it’s ok. it’ll take time, and patience (coupled with trial) and trust in Him. i’ve been fretting about how to “define” my position and what i do, but really, my identity is in Christ…and that’s no matter what i’m doing.
so i have a chance to love others in a way that will require sacrifice. that will require vulnerability. that will mean taking risks. that will mean giving and giving and giving and receiving near nothing in return. it means loving as Christ loved us. breaking His body, pouring out His blood. giving His life for us. taking the life He has given me and letting Him laying it all out there for the sake of one who needs healing.
i’ve been burnt out. i’ve been told i need to move on, that i’ve done enough. but i can’t justify that…not in the face of Christ. in the face of Love.
how can you “love your neighbor as yourself”?