one thing i can appreciate is the ability to look back at all the jumbles of words i’ve put on a page…each entry or lyric is a snapshot of who i was. something i can measure against who i’ve become. it is a wonder how much my life has changed…and how quickly it has done so.
but i don’t write so often anymore.
it’s happened as i’ve found myself feeling so disconnected from things. i’m not sure where this rift has come from, or why. things i once loved and were so passionate about have become little or no consequence to me. relationships that i once so cherished and desired have become distant. it bothers me that it doesn’t really bother me. i have no motivation to change the direction in which things are going. i keep myself busy so that i don’t have time to sit here and think about all this.
maybe i’m growing. maybe i’m resisting. maybe i’m just reading too much into things. i don’t know.
is it something i’ve lost? or just something i’m missing?