some people celebrate their sobriety. or how long they’ve been clean. i have today.
six years ago i woke up and decided that i wasn’t going to make it to another night. i was in despair. i couldn’t believe there was hope. i couldn’t believe things would ever change.

but – long story short – they did.

    cover me
    with a red sky tonight
    the promise of a better day to come
    sing for me
    an angelic symphony
    tell me everything will be alright
    with a red sky tonight -bh

words rescued me then. they continue to keep me alive now…just like they did six years ago. especially now. this anniversary comes amidst a season of my life that has me in a place i haven’t been in a while. this day has come and gone five other times with me barely noticing. but not this year. i feel like i’ve lost everything i fought for. six years have vanished and i’m exactly where i started.

i want to look forward, i want to strive for new things and a new chapter…but it takes all that i have to simply survive the moment. and the next. it’s hard to breathe.

i know, i know…no promise of an easy road. life isn’t fair. and when i’m weak, He is strong. but still.

just tell me everything will be alright.