you know when you pray for more patience?
(some of you know where i’m going with this…)
if you haven’t already done it, typically what happens is when you pray for “more patience,” you actually get a plethora of opportunity to practice it. so, essentially….you won’t get a magical dose if patience, but you WILL get some annoying people or frustrating circumstances that will force you into either learning and exercising patience, or just cause you to lose your damn mind.
i’ve been there, done that.
but it applies to everything else, too. for me, learning what His love is and how to express it…it just so happens the same deal applies. maybe it’s because of my past, maybe it’s because i’m such a hopeless romantic, but can’t help this fixation. so i pray to understand it, i pray to experience more if it, and what do i get?….the opportunity to practice. to learn. to be a vessel for it. and it is hard, yo. it’s not how you think it’s going to be. it’s really thinking about others and not yourself. it’s really expecting nothing in return, even when you have given all you have and are feeling completely and utterly empty. it’s all Christ did for us. it’s what we are supposed to do for each other.
i didn’t realize what i was asking for all these years. and with each passing day, i’m feeling the beautiful agony of it more and more.