there’s something to be said about “that” moment. that moment you jump the line with your eyes squeezed shut…and slowly open them to find yourself still alive. the ground didn’t swallow you up. no lightening struck you down from the sky. instead, you find yourself in this whole new world, and wonder what had kept you from taking that leap in the first place.

usually it’s me. i’ve put those lines in place, and sometimes i can’t even remember why. quite honestly, it’s been an interesting life phase. when once i clung so tightly to tradition and how things were “supposed to be done,” i have now become the one who questions everything. i’m that annoying child that is constantly asking “why?”

and as i’ve crossed those lines, i’ve discovered something…

not guilt. not regret. not fear.

but freedom.

they were in place because i needed them: to keep me focused, or keep me safe…or — even though i didn’t see it at first — to challenge me to grow. to challenge me to question them, and to make that jump. sometimes they were my friend, sometimes they were my enemy…but they had their time. and i am who i am thanks to them.


question everything.

this is me…



i’ve been debating this whole blog thing for a while. there’s no telling how long this will sit here before i decide to make it public. i’m not sure what it’s a question of…time, commitment, purpose. who knows?

a snapshot of my story can be found on my about me page. i’ve shared it through various outlets of recovery programs and other writing formats.

my writing – whatever the form – tends to indulge my over-analytical mind and falls prey to my tendencies of being a bit of a perfectionist. i am my greatest critic. i need to simplify.

i suppose the heart of all this my relationship with God. i am in love with Him. and whenever i have a chance to reflect on all that has happened in my life, on all that has changed, i am drawn closer to Him. maybe this can be my altar…

as long as i’m alive, as long as i’m breathing, He finds ways to romance me. i’m really not sure where to begin…